no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
