the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
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I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
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I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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