I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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