Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
