awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
