i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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