Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
