Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
