i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
