I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize
