You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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