I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Actions speak louder than pants.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
