Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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