I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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