Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
