Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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