I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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