Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Randomize
