Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I need a burrito and a hug.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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