I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
