should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
