So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
