I seem to have left my pride at pride
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize