There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
