I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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