My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
