Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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