why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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