im having a threesome with these popsicles
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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