guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
