So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
