you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
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I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
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It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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