I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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