that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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