Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you win again, gameday.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i now understand why vodka
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
