I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
