He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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