Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
