I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
