Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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