i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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