I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize