What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
