In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
