We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So many bounce houses so little time
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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