i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
