Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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