I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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