So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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