Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS