..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin