she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
