he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
