Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
