You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
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It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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