I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
