How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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