so that wasnt chicken after all
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
