There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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