he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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