Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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