you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
