Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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