she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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